he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
