Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
