Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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