i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My pussy is not your playground.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
