Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
