If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
