My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
