***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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