We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
