i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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