Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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