He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
