how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
