hell yes lets make some ravioli
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
