So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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