You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
That reminds me...we need to get swords
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
