Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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