Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
