Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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