I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
