I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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