but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
