Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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