I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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