i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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