so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
