whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
