Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
