thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
