she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
