What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
