my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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