Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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