4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
