He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i permit you to call me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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