She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
