You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
