Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
