Non-Jews are for practice
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
