if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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