i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
