Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you would pick up someone in the library
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
