i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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