apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
