Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
