worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
