my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
