I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
