People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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