I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
