I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
id be glad to
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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